Dearest Diary…scratch that….Darling Desires…too dreamy. HOWDY FOLKS.. Hmmm.
I’m Emme. And what follows will be my deepest, darkest secrets…or something like that. I guess things were getting a little too stuffy in my skull and each time I had a new brizilliant idea I was overcome with the overwhelming feeling of having to sneeze an old one out. I told Mummy about my brain sniffles and she said I must expel my mind outward! And so here I am, typing away to…well, you! But before we get to YOU, let me introduce ME!
Age: 14 years dead.
Purpose: attempting to navigate through the wild and wacky world of (dun, dun, DUN!) Freshman Year of High School! *Shreik!*
I know what you’re thinking…another sad and lonely chick. But this is not your typical afternoon special, folks. I pride myself on being an exceptionally YOUnique individual. I’m weird, I’m funky and I’m super proud waving my freak flag.
I hope Mummy is happy I took her advice about starting a diary, and even though I would FLIP if I found out she were reading this. I still sort of hope that if she did she’d be proud, though. But not like crying at your gymnastics recital proud, more of like an approving head nod proud. Poprocks (that’s what I can my Dad) would be proud too—mostly because even though he’s a life insurance salesman, he has a real flare for the dramatic and creative. Sometimes he calls prospective clients and pretends to be the Grim Reaper and tells them they are already dead! And then he’s like “Just kidding! but still, you need life insurance!” It’s pretty corny, I know but I sort of love it. I do NOT however love my twin brother Emmet. Ok, I guess I “love” (ew) him but I don’t like him. Ok, sometimes I like him but most of the time I want to break his hips! (Which actually wouldn’t be so hard considering we are a family of skeletons and therefore don’t have to worry about those pesky layers of tissue and cartilage.) I know what you’re thinking, the Skullz are skulls? Uh, duh. How Jacobian, right? Sure, we slightly stick out in crowds and we’ve definitely made a few people faint in the grocery store but we are used to being different. You see, we’re from Out of Town. Like, literally. Our house is set sort of on the outskirts of a larger city but it was too far away from the next county to be group there so instead some Mayor like 20 years ago just named our block “Out of Town.” And there we happily reside somewhere in-between the larger city, nestled amongst the living.
You know what I always found funny? Ok, so we’re dead. Cold blooded but my family has more color than a box of crayons! And that makes me yellow, hot pink, lime green. I’m bold, I’m wacky and I’m super totally ok with that. Sometimes it gets me into trouble…that is if anyone “gets me” enough to engage in some trouble with me. But I don’t mine because I’d rather be a loner than a loser and the faster way to be a loser is to be bully! I h8 bullies. They make me sick, which is HARD because I don’t even have an immune system. Grrr!
Ok, positive vibes Emme. I guess that’s my introduction for now. I hope you guys dig me. Oh yeah, and don’t try and find any of my friends and show them this. Sometimes things might be a littler person and I wouldn’t want to hurt anyones feelings as I mull things over with you. So this is just our little secret, ok ready? Phew! Glad you agreed. This just may be the start to a beautiful friendship…
YOU rock, YOU rule and I’m EMME